What Wine should I Pair with my Careers Conversation?
Recently an email landed in my long-suffering in-box from my daughter’s school: the Modern Foreign Languages department requests that a decision is made within weeks as to how many languages will be studied next year. Without wishing to burden readers with the full ramifications, a career conversation is needed six months sooner than anticipated.
Now, all parents look forward to those moments when the skills and knowledge they have built up can be used to support their children. However, the reality can be somewhat different.
Relationships have been seriously tested behind the wheel of skittish Ford Fiestas, with the screech of tyres matched only by the screaming of the occupants, as Mum has decided to put her advanced driving course to good use and show her son how to drive. Hopes and dreams have been dashed when Dad elects to teach his daughter how to code, as it will be a ‘valuable skill for the future’, only to discover she would far instead learn how to start her vlogging career.
I should know better.
My daughter and I entered this suddenly urgent career conversation with high hopes and good intentions. This isn’t our first foray into the field; we have a plan and clear goal. I dare myself to think that she will undergo a process of enlightening self-discovery; with my support, she will recognise her passions and eliminate GCSE courses which do not inspire her, making the language choice next month an obvious one. We even have resources. In her youthful naivety, she thinks I have a monopoly on wisdom and can help her with anything. (Later, she will of course, realise that most of us grown-ups have imposter syndrome and feel we are winging it, with variable results).
Initially, all is well. The sunbeams fall on the soft silver-grey fur of our cat, as he stretches indolently at our feet; I am in possession of one of those rare cups of coffee made precisely the way I like it and we are cheerfully imagining what an Environmental Officer might do if she found rats.
However, in my post-pandemic enthusiasm for making progress with every incomplete task, I have launched into this career conversation forgetting a key piece of knowledge. My daughter is an analytical thinker and has high levels of anxiety.
After 20 minutes of consideration around what might be fun about welding, I blurt out in exasperation, ‘Of COURSE, you don’t want to be a welder, darling! You have never shown any interest WHATSOEVER in welding!’
In the inevitably testy aftermath, my thoughts turned to wine. Would a glass of rose help to lighten the mood? Perhaps the time it would take me to decant a bottle of claret would enable me to regain my composure and my perspective. It could be that a familiar gulp or 12 of my favourite viognier would be light enough to consume at 4 pm and still get away with making a decent risotto for supper.
Of course, there are many different wines, just as there are many different types of people. Successful career conversations are paired with the client's context and personality. The central and most essential consideration is to meet the client's needs in a way that is compatible with their personality and way of thinking. An expert coach enables the client to lead and discover the right solutions for themselves.
My daughter and I pressed pause on that particular career conversation and scheduled an interim chat, which was aimed at listening to her new concerns about the career development process. I am now working on a specific resource to meet those concerns. In the meantime, she has, rather sagely, pointed out that she couldn’t very well have shown an interest in welding as she had never heard of it before I brought it up…
